Fading To Black
by madd.z
Summary: The rest of the day was nothing new everyday had been the same since the Cullen’s had left, since he’d left. I wrote notes and completed my work, I drove home and when I got there, there was a familiar car in the driveway. My heart skipped a beat...[ExB]
1. Repetition

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own and do not claim to own any of these characters; they are all from Stephenie Meyer's twilight series books, which are incredible by the way. :) **

**A.N:****this is my very first fan fiction and it's given me something to do whilst I'm waiting patiently for 2008 to come when it will bring me breaking dawn lol twilight fans will know what I'm talking about. I don't really have anything planned for it, when I did this first chapter I was really just thinking about showing things that happened in new moon that we heard about but never got to read, but now, on the 3****rd**** chapter I'm thinking maybe I should have a plan and make this story actually go somewhere so that's what I'm planning on doing ****. I know some of the facts in this might not be 100 accurate , like the fact that the fight with Bella and her parents probably wasn't exactly 1 month after Edward left, but I didn't know for sure and I haven't got my copy of new moon at the moment so I just kind of made it up, sorry if that's annoyed anyone. I'd really love reviews I think they would motivate me a whole lot to keep going I was so surprised to have received one the day after I posted the first 2 chapters of this story, it really meant heaps to me, so more would be muchly appreciated. I'm sorry this is a way too long authors note so I'm going to rap it up. I just wanted a chance to properly explain my story and my intentions for the future. Anyone that reads this story, thank you. Oh and, any suggestions for the title would be very much appreciated because I've got nothing! **

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**Chapter 1: ****Repetition **

I woke once again with the feeling of wanting to fall back into my dreams, fighting off reality as best I could, hesitating to open my eyes, preparing myself for a repeat of the last 27 days... and then with the forcing myself to let go of the memories I kept locked away, the ones I only let out when I was deeply unconscious, forcing myself to open my eyes and see nothing but my bedroom wall, not allowing myself to expect _his _arms around me, _his _eyes staring back at me. No. not allowed.

Finally I opened my eyes- nothing, no one.

I got myself up and showered, I didn't bother with my hair, and I picked up my bag and went downstairs to find a note- Charlie.

_Bella,_

_Off to work early today, sorry Bells._

_Don't worry about making me dinner tonight_

_Just make sure you eat something._

_I love you._

_Dad._

He had recently started writing notes when I was home and he wasn't, I guessed it was to remind me that he would come home, even if they weren't.

My chest started to ache, the pain wasn't unfamiliar these days, id let my mind slip the tiniest bit and my heart was reminding me of this danger zone.

I ignored the pain and got to my truck. I got in and glanced down at the empty space where my stereo had been, and then reversed out of my driveway and made my way to school. My first class was chemistry, I went to the seat id been sitting in since my first class, except now... I sat alone.

"Bella?" I hadn't even realized Mike Newton take the seat next to mine, I didn't bother to turn to him.

"Bella? Look at me" Mike whined.

I turned to him, seeing in his eyes what Id feared I would, pity. The same look he'd given me ever since they'd left. For a brief second I remembered what he'd said when Id came back to school the day after Sam Uley had found me in the forest...

"_Bella, is it true?" _Mike had asked

"_Is it true he left you?" _I didn't answer.

"_Is it true the Cullen's are gone?"_ he rephrased.

Numb to any words any one had to say all I'd managed was a whispered_ "yes."_

"Bella, come to the movies this Friday with the whole group, we're worried about you" he said bringing me back to reality

"I don't think so" I turned away and heard the chair squeak as Mike walked away

"I tried" I heard him whisper behind her.

The rest of the day was nothing new; everyday had been the same since the Cullen's had left, since _he'd _left. I wrote notes and completed my work, I drove home and when I got there, there was a familiar car in the driveway. My heart skipped a beat...


	2. Visitor

**Chapter 2: Visitor**

What was my mother doing here, in forks? Charlie's car was in the driveway, he was home early. I stepped out of the truck and walked to the door; I opened it and walked in.

"Bella!" my mother said as she wrapped her arms around me, I didn't respond.

"Oh Bella, look at you…"she let go of me and stared at my face waiting for me to speak

"What are you doing here?" I said as I walked past her and headed up stairs to my room,

Charlie stopped me.

"Bells, have a seat, your mother and I, we want to talk to you" he lead me towards the chair in the lounge room, he had his serious face on as he sat me down

"Will this take long? I've got homework." I mumbled, Charlie looked at Renee

"Sweetheart… I'd like you to come back with me" Renee said looking at me intently... Waiting for my reaction

"no." I said simply getting up to leave

"Bella honey, sit down. Lets talk" Charlie said "your not yourself bells, your empty, your sad, your so sad-"

"I haven't got time for this" I interrupted him and walked up the stairs to my room, I can't believe he wants to ship me off, I mean yeah I was a little unhappier than usual but I was good, I did my homework, I never missed curfew, I cooked him dinner _every _night…

"Bella!" Charlie called after me, following me up the stairs with Renee behind him

I got to my room and put my bag down I turned to Charlie and Renee standing in my doorway

"Bella, you can't stay here and wait for him, you need to get on with your life" Renee spoke soothingly.

"I'm not waiting for anyone"I lied "And I'm not leaving forks."

"Honey, maybe you just need a change for a little while, just to get back to your usual self, I mean you don't eat, you hardly sleep, you don't speak to anyone" Charlie came towards me like he was going to hug me but I pushed him back

"No dad, I want to stay here." I said raising my voice, Renee walked past me and I watched her as she started to open my draws and pack my things.

"NO!" I yelled, Charlie looked taken aback but Renee didn't stop

"NO STOP!" I stormed towards Renee closing my draws and snatching my clothes back off her.

"Bella, don't be difficult, this is for you darling, so you can get better" Renee wrapped her arms around me "we don't want to force you, but this is what's best"

I struggled out of her hold and stepped back glaring at her, I was so angry, I needed to stay here… I needed to be in Forks, not only for the small amount of hope I had left that he would come back to me, that wasn't very realistic... I needed to stay so that I could remember, so that I could know that it was real, that I didn't make it all up. I just needed to stay.

"Difficult?? Is that what I am dad? Difficult?" I turned to him and his eyes softened

"No honey, no" he soothed "your great, I love having you around you know that, but when your like this... when your dieing on the inside. It kills me, you need help, your mother is best for you right now…"

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA" I yelled throwing my clothes across the room "you don't know what's best for me!"

"Bella honey, calm down" Renee touched my shoulder

"NO... NO I WILL NOT" I yelled

"I know your hurting love" Charlie came towards me, I turned away

"You don't know anything. You just want to ship me away"

"I wish I didn't have to Bella, believe me I do, but the way he's left you. I can't bear it, you wont see the physiatrist, you wont talk to me... you need some help"

"YOUR ACTING LIKE IM CRAZY!" I spat "IM FINE... IM FINE!"

"Honey you aren't fine, your eyes, they're empty and lost… come with me for a few months just to see, maybe you'll feel better" Renee held my hands

I turned and looked away, and she started with my clothes again, putting them into a suitcase,

"No mom NO"

"Honey, what has he done to you? What is it about him? We've all had our hearts broken but Bella this is extravagant." Her words crushed me, if she had any idea she wouldn't ask me this, if she knew that everything that I had to do with out him hurt, that it was agony to even take a breath without him by my side she would never ask what it is about him If she only knew that it wasn't just a broken heart- that could be fixed... no, her heart was not broken, it was gone... She'd lost it; he'd taken it with him, leaving her with a chest filled with nothing but pain, cold lonely pain. I sat on my bed and curled my legs up towards my chest, shielding my pain, with my head bowed into my knees.

"Bella, I know you loved him" Renee sat beside me

"I love him" I whispered but my voice was muffled and I don't think she heard.

"But he's not coming back Bella" her mother said the words aloud, something no one had dared to do, the words poked at the open wound in my chest and I pushed my legs tighter against my body

"Don't make me go Dad" I choked turning to Charlie in the doorway "Don't make me leave…he doesn't want me" my voice broke, and for the first time since that night in the woods, I cried.

And I didn't stop, I cried and cried all night with my mother and father on either side of me whispering words that meant nothing to me anymore, for the first time in a month I mourned the loss of my whole entire world.


	3. Lost and Found

**Chapter 3: lost and found**

Renee left this morning, unwillingly. I heard Charlie and her talking when I woke up, he told her that if I didn't improve in the next couple of months that he would take me to her whether I liked it or not, I didn't know what to think of this, I didn't know if I would ever "improve" but I vowed to myself that I would try, for Charlie's sake.

She hugged me so tight I stopped breathing and when she let go I had to force myself to take another breath, she told me if I ever needed anything, just to call and if I changed my mind about staying with her, to get in my truck straight away.

I nodded when it was needed and when she was gone I went upstairs to my room. I lay on my bed and studied my floorboards, I thought about last night, how I'd come undone. Charlie's face is what I remember the clearest, the heartbroken look in his eyes as he watched me fall apart.

And I thought you were supposed to feel better after you have a breakdown?

That's what everyone said, but I didn't feel better... I felt even more aware of the gaping hole in my life, in my heart.

For some reason I fell to the floor and laid there feeling the familiar cold of the floorboards, tracing the cracks and lines with my fingers. I came across an uneven floorboard and inspected it intently, it looked out of place compared to the others with one corner slightly up, I tried to peek through the small gap that it had from it to the next floorboard and I could have sworn I could see something under there.

I used my fingernails to pull it up a little more but it only came up an inch and then wouldn't budge, so I went downstairs to the kitchen draw and grabbed a barbeque scraper, the only thing I could find that looked as though it could do the job.

I used the scraper as a lever and slid it down the top crack and pushed upwards as though to flip the board up, it didn't take much to get the board up and when I did, I gasped.

There, underneath my floorboards were the gifts I'd been missing… my photos, my CD, my memories that I thought were long gone. I picked up the photos, on the top was the first picture I had taken with the camera I had received for my birthday, Edward smiling my crooked smile and his eyes shining brilliantly…

My heart stopped and my hands shook as I was reminded of what I'd been missing, I traced his face with my trembling fingers, the face that I had memorized a lifetime ago. I knew I should have burned them, ripped them to pieces right then and there because the hole in my heart had never felt so fresh and I was finding it hard to breath, but I didn't.

I stared at the picture for what felt like hours feeling everything I'd ever felt for him come flooding back. I moved on to the next picture, it was of the two of us, in the lounge room. His hand was on my waist and I clung to him for dear life though both of us sported forced, pained smiles.

I studied both photos side by side; they fell into the categories of _before _and _after_. I looked at the second picture, at the contrast so evident, he was so much more beautiful then I was, he was this god-like creature and I was just nothing, _no one._

I studied him, his face was smiling, and to anyone that didn't know him like I, it would seem a stunning picture of him. But I knew better, in his eyes I could see the clear difference from what they were in the first picture of him, they were cold and emotionless, they held no life like the other picture did, and it made me wonder if when this picture was being taken, did he know that he was going to take these pictures away from me, and his CD. Did he already have it all planned?

I picked up the mixed CD and put it in my stereo, I sat on my bed and waited for the first song to play, I knew what it was already, I remembered, it was the sweet melody of my lullaby.

I lowered my head as I listened intently to a song that I hadn't heard in so long. The tears fell, with no warning.

Would it ever stop? Would I ever not ache? I asked myself this over and over while I cried listening to the piano playing from my stereo.

I imagined Edward, sitting at his beautiful piano with his slender fingers working magic, with an ease so casual it could bring a tear to anyone's eye, it brought tears to my eyes just thinking of it.

My chest heaved, and my sobs shook me, but I managed to bring myself to loosely put the floorboard back into place with the photos and CD neatly under it.

I wasn't sure whether I could bear knowing that they were right there but I knew that I definitely could not bear them being out it the open, ready to remind me of _him_ at any given moment.

No I most definitely could not bear it, especially if I was going to try, for Charlie, to start to put this behind me, put _him _behind me.


	4. Alice

_**A.N: **__**this chapter's from Alice's POV.**_

**Chapter 4: Alice**

_It was late and the moon was full. Bella sat, on the edge of a cliff, her knees pulled in towards her chest as the wind blew the hair from her fallen face. Tears stained her pale cheeks, and she looked down at the crashing waves. Her face was pained, her eyes broken and empty, and her heart, though not visible, was clearly broken…_

"Alice?"

I woke from my trance; Jasper was standing in the doorway of our room.

"Hmm?" I answered, still dazed from my vision.

"What did you see?" He came towards me and slid onto the bed, seating himself beside me

"A different version of the same thing I've been seeing for the last month" I sighed, this was not the first vision I'd had of Bella since we'd left. As I'd promised Edward, I hadn't gone looking for something, the visions just came.

"What was it this time?" Jasper was the only one I'd told about the visions, but it had been a month, and I was really getting close to telling Edward.

"She was on the edge of a cliff, and it was night. And like every other time, she was crying…" I knew Jasper could feel me getting upset, because he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him, I felt immediately calmer.

"Jasper, I think its time I told Edward."

"Alice…" He picked up my hand and started tracing my palm with his fingers

"He needs to know what he's done Jas, I warned him this would happen but he didn't listen, he needs to know that it's not working, us not being there, its made it worse for her" my voice strained

"Alice, it's not our place. He told us to stay out of it, we promised. And what do you think he'd do anyway? Do you think he'd go back? Because I don't, I don't think it would do any good Alice, it'd just hurt him more."

"Honestly, I don't know what he'd do. But I also don't know what Bella's going to do if she keeps going like she is, and I think we owe it to her to tell Edward what's going on"

"What are you saying? She's going to kill herself?" Jaspers face fell

"Who's going to kill them self?" Rosalie startled us both, she walked through the doorway

"No one Rose. If you'll both excuse me I think I'm going to get some fresh air" I grabbed my coat that was merely a prop for the humans, ready to brave the Alaskan winter that was waiting outside.

"I'll come Alice." Jasper pulled my coat on for me and buttoned me up

"You guys are hiding something aren't you?" Rosalie studied our faces, trying to figure out what we were hiding

"Of coarse not" I assured her "I just feel like a run" I smiled

Rosalie walked out of the room in silence, though not completely satisfied with my explanation. Jasper grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me outside, and we ran together through the woods near our new house until we came to the clearing that we had claimed as our own special place, we came here together when we wanted to be alone. It was truly a winter wonderland with the trees draped wonderfully with thick snow. Jasper guided me to the log and we both sat down.

"Did you see something about her killing herself Alice?"

"No, I didn't see anything like that. But who knows? Tomorrow or the day after that or a month from now, I could, I could see something like that, and what could I do about it? Nothing." He squeezed my hand

"Alice… is it really that bad?" I couldn't believe he had to ask

"I've never seen anything like it, she's not Bella anymore, and it kills me" This was the truth, in every vision she got worse, my best friend was fading before my very eyes and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Jasper pulled me tight against his chest; I knew he was feeling everything I was.

"Oh Alice" he kissed my forehead

"I feel helpless Jas; I need to tell Edward, if not for Bella, for me. I can't just sit back anymore" he tightened his grip on me

"Are you sure you want to do this?" his voice was soft and delicate as he stroked my arm

"I _need _to do this, and he _needs _to know." Jasper nodded and we began to run home.


	5. First Steps

_**A.N: **__**back to Bella :) **_

**Chapter 5: First Steps**

I knew I had promised myself I was going to try and get on with things, but I couldn't help but let my thoughts get the better of me as I sat on the edge of this enormous cliff watching the waves crash below me. It was a full moon, a _new _moon. My tears blurred my eyes so I closed them and let the cool breeze take me someplace else. I thought for the millionth time of the night of my birthday, and I let myself wonder what would have happened if I didn't give myself a paper cut, if everything had gone smoothly. Would they still be here? I guessed that they probably would be, this made the tears come harder. A simple cut, a paper cut for Christ sake. I shook my head to clear my thoughts of _what could have been _and just sat. This cliff had become my place to go at night, when I couldn't sleep. I'd sneak out when Charlie was asleep and drive here, to La Push, and just sit here on this cliff… sometimes I brought my photos, but most nights , like tonight I just came to sit.

It wasn't like I hadn't been trying, because I had, really hard. I've been talking to Charlie more and I've even started talking to Angela and Ben a little bit. I was doing a really good job at hiding my pain when I was around people, but its when I am alone that it all comes back, and I come undone and I need to get away just for a moment, just to breathe. _Breathe._

I took a breath, I'd been out here for over an hour, but I had no idea what the time was. It was time to go. I walked quickly to my truck and drove home, I pulled into the driveway as quietly as I could have and walked through the front door.

"Bella where on earth have you been?"

I jumped. Charlie. Oh god, what was I going to say?

"Dad, I'm sorry" I bowed my head and tried to think

"You didn't answer me, where have you been? Its 3 o'clock in the morning!"

It was? Oh no.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep so I just went for a drive, I'm sorry I worried you"

"Worried me? You did a hell of a lot more then that Bella! You gave me a freaking heart attack; I was one step away from calling the boys and getting a search party started!"

"Dad I said I'm sorry, I won't do it again. I promise" I didn't know what else to say

"Oh Bella, I thought you were getting better, and now your going out in the middle of the night?"

"Dad I am … getting better …" I swallowed "It was just a drive I swear!"

"I hope so Bells, I don't know what I'm going to do with you" he shook his head

"I'm fine dad; you don't need to do anything with me. Now I'm sorry, and if you're finished with me here, I'm really tired. I could use some sleep"

"Sure Bella, we'll talk about this in the morning"

I climbed up the stairs and went to my bedroom. What was I going to do now? Just as I was starting to get Charlie thinking I was okay. I lay on my bed and slowly drifted off to sleep…

I woke up, it was Saturday and Charlie was off fishing for the day, there was a note on the counter:

Bella,

I'm going fishing with Billy. I asked Jacob

To come up and see you, I hope you don't mind

But after last night I wasn't sure what to do,

Plus I thought you might want the company.

About your little drive last night.

Let's make sure it doesn't happen again ok?

This is the last you'll here of it.

Dad.

So I guess this was me, being let off the hook. It was a relief to know that I wasn't going to have to dread Charlie's return for the rest of the day. I turned my attention to the fact that Jacob Black was coming here. I hadn't seen him since last year at prom, I ached at the memory, he was there to deliver a message from Billy, telling me to keep away from Edward. The poor kid had felt so bad. What were we going to do? Bake cookies together?

This was going to be painful. I had a shower and made my way down stairs when I heard a knock at the door, I opened it to find a much taller, much muscular and much more mature Jacob Black standing on my doorstep.

"Jacob?" I said

"Hey Bella!" he grinned "gonna let me in or what?"

"Sure" I said and I opened the door and let him in "So... Jake, I don't know what Charlie's told you but I'm not much company"

He made himself comfortable and plunked himself down on the living room chair

"Charlie didn't tell me anything, except that you were home alone today and that you'd probably be bored out of your wits and need some entertaining!" his smile was broad "So here I am ! Ready to entertain!" I couldn't help but laugh, and the sound was unnatural coming from me. I hadn't laughed in so long.

"There's nothing to do here" I argued

"I've got a plan, come back to La push with me. I'll find us some fun" I highly doubted that, I hadn't had fun since, well since they'd left. But for some reason I didn't find myself trying to come up with a thousand excuses to get out of it and I found myself thinking what was the harm? A day with Jacob Black couldn't be any worse then a day alone with only my thoughts to keep me company. And plus, I had forgotten how much I really did like Jacob Black.


	6. Edward?

_**A.N: **__**Edwards POV. **_

_**PLEASE review guys! 283 hits and about 5 favorite author's, so I know people are reading this but I've only got 2 reviews! From 1 person (thanks **__**Enigma1918**__** by the way!) R&R PEOPLE!**_

_**Oh and enjoy:)**_

**Chapter 6: Edward?**

2 months for a vampire is nothing.

This is what I'm telling myself when I am walking the silent streets of London all night. "It's only been 2 months, and you're carrying on like this? Pull yourself together and prepare for eternity!" I shout at myself in my head. If I cant handle 2 months how the hell am I going to get through the rest of forever? I'm thinking. And I can't stop myself from thinking about how 1 year with her flew by like a blur, though 2 months without her has dragged on slower then anything I've ever known, and it is killing me, killing me all over again.

It is about 4am and my head is finally getting a rest from thoughts of strangers, though sadly my own thoughts do not end, I find a small park that is dimly lit by a street lamp and sit on a bench. I try to think of my family in Alaska, without me. Moving on.

But at the thought of moving on I think of Bella, is she… moving on? I swallow and cradle my head in my hands and drop it down. It's what I wanted isn't it? For her to move on and have a normal human life? No.

What I wanted was to get on a plane back to Washington right now, to climb through her bedroom window and take her in my arms and never let go, to tell her I was so sorry, that everything I said the night I left was a lie, that when I saw the look on her face that night everything inside me broke. I wanted to go back to her and beg her to take me back, because if she didn't I would never be complete.

But I couldn't. No I could not do that, I couldn't go back on the one selfless thing I'd ever done for her. She deserved much better than me. I knew that. I accepted that.

And she needed the chance to accept it to, and I had given it to her.

My pocket buzzed, breaking my thoughts. I looked at the screen, Alice.

They'd been calling non stop now for a month, even though I told them when I went my separate way that I would call them when I wanted to… in my own time. The last time I'd talk to any of them, was two weeks after I'd left Forks, I thought of Esme, I knew this would be killing her, not returning any calls. So for the first time, I answered my cell.

"Edward?" Alice's voice was full of shock, I guess she wasn't expecting me to pick up

"Alice." I replied

"What the hell is wrong with you?! We've been trying to reach you for a month! We have no clue where you are! Esme is beside herself!" her tone was full of anger but I could hear the soft hint of relief under it all

"I'm sorry Alice. I'm in London." She sighed

"London?"

"Yes, London… how is everyone?"

"Oh Edward, we're all worried sick about you, of coarse. But other than that everyone is fine I guess."

"You shouldn't worry about me, I'm fine" I reassured convincingly, I hoped

"Are you?" she was skeptical, I could hear it

"Peachy." I replied

"Edward… I need to speak to you"

"You are speaking to me"

"No I mean face to face. Not over the phone"

"Alice, I'm not coming to Alaska" I knew the only reason they were calling was to get me to go with them; I knew it was because they cared about me. But I needed some time, didn't they understand this?

"Then I'll come to London, I'll try and get a flight tonight, ill call you when I arrive then you can meet me at the airport"

"Alice, if this is some ploy to bring me back with you, you're wasting your time" my tone was slightly harsh but it didn't seem to bother her

"Edward, I know that right now, nothing I do can bring you back with me. And there is nothing I want more of course. But that is not the reason I want to see you"

"Then what the hell is the reason Alice? Because right now, I'm not in the mood for a little meet and greet visit. When I said I wasn't coming with everyone to Alaska because I needed some time alone. I meant it" I was loosing my patience.

"Okay, here's the thing, I've been having… visions"

"Oh really? That's weird" I replied sarcastically

Alice sighed "Damn it Edward, cut the bullshit and listen to me. I haven't had one for a while now, but I've been having visions of Bella."

I immediately straightened on the bench and my dead heart seemed to twitch in my chest

"What about her? Is she okay?" my voice sounded a little frantic

"Well that would really depend on your definition of okay"

"Get to the point Alice what's happening?" possibilities ran through my head; Victoria in Forks with her vengeance against Bella, or maybe Bella's bad luck finally catching up with her

"She's not happy Edward" Alice replied shortly

"What?" this is what Alice was going to jump on a plane to London to tell me? That Bella wasn't _happy_?

"She's a wreck Edward!" Alice snapped sensing the skepticism in my voice

"What do you mean by wreck?" I was realistic when I left; I knew that Bella would be upset for a little while. It was inevitable and as much as it killed me to know that I would be the one to cause her pain, I needed to do it, _for her_.

"I mean that from what I've seen in my visions you could practically call her catatonic." She said bluntly

"_Catatonic?"_ I managed

"Yes Edward for god sake what the hell did you expect? I warned you, I told you she wouldn't let go!"

"Maybe she just needs time… time heals everything"

"Time? How much time Edward? How long are you going to leave her like this?! She's not just some broken teenager with a crush. She's dead, on the inside and I don't know how long she's going to be able to take it anymore"

I was shaking, even though it was near impossible for me to get cold. What would I do? Oh, I needed so much to go to her now… I needed to stop the pain I'd caused her.

"Edward?" Alice whispered "Edward are you still there? I didn't mean to shout, I'm sorry" her voice had returned to her normal gentle tone

"Yes I'm here Alice, tell me… when was your last vision?" I needed to get as much information as I could before making rash decisions

"About a month ago, I saw her sitting on the edge of a cliff at night, crying…" she replied

My chest ached.

"None since then?" I asked, straining to keep my voice even

"No." Alice replied

"Maybe that's a sign that things are going better?" it made sense, surely if things had gotten worse Alice would have seen it

"I don't know Edward that could be right, I guess"

"Then lets just leave it for now" I said hesitantly, even though my whole body was begging to go straight to Forks right now.

"Leave it?" she was unconvinced

"I'm not going to go and ruin her chance of a normal life Alice; I'm going to do this one thing for her. No matter how much I love her, I cannot wreck her life anymore; I _won't _wreck her life anymore" my voice was firm

"But that's what I'm trying to tell you Edward, her life _isn't _normal now, and it _is _wrecked and she is _broken_, and the reason of this all is because _you're not there"_

"Time will go on, and she _will_ heal Alice."

"I don't think I can take your word for that. Because the last I knew she was deeply in love with you and you with her. And from what I know, time doesn't change that."

"Jesus Alice! If it was all as simple as love, I'd be with her right now in the blink of an eye. But it doesn't and I'm not. It's about her safety, her _life_. All I ever brought her was danger and we all know Bella doesn't need any help when in comes to bringing danger" I'm angry, Alice doesn't know what the hell she's talking about "Listen Alice, I'm sticking to the plan. I'm staying away forever."

Alice sighs "Do you want to talk to the others?"

"No. I do not, I need my time Alice. If you have another vision… call me, but for now tell the others I'm fine. And I'll call if there's a problem."

"Bye Edward" Alice whispers

and I close my cell phone and continue to walk the streets of London. Alone.

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_**AN: hmm... I'm not very happy with this chapter. But ill post it for now. **_

_**R & R. **_


	7. far away

_**A.N: **__**Bella POV**_

_**Still waiting for reviews…**_

**Chapter 7: Far away**

It is Saturday. And today I am going to La push for the 4th weekend in a row, to do god knows what with Jacob Black. Last weekend was snorkeling at first beach, the weekend before that it was a movie marathon at the cinema in Port Angeles, and the weekend before that was hiking in Forks. He is coming to pick me up in 10 minutes, so I have a 3 minute shower, towel dry my hair and shove 2 weetbix down my throat just in time for him to beep the rabbit's horn. The rabbit, being the car he proudly put together himself.

I lock the front door and jump in the passenger seat.

"Hey Bells" Jacob's sporting his usual broad grin

"Hey Jacob, what are we doing today?" I smile back.

He has become my best friend, he made me smile when I didn't know what that was anymore and laugh when it was near impossible. He takes my mind off things. He almost makes me forget, and we talk about everything. Everything except, _him,_ of course.

"I don't know actually, I've got nothing, what d'you want to do?"

"I have no idea!" I laugh

"nice." He laughs with me

"Oh! Hey! I almost forgot, check this out!" he reaches his brown arm out and twists at the radio dial "I finally got it working!" and soon the car is filled with the lyrics _"I love you, I loved you all along & I miss you, been far away for far too long" _and suddenly, everything is far too much, and I start to fade to black again.

"Bella?" Jacobs face is full of confusion

"Turn it off Jacob" I say my voice shaking

"What you don't like nickelback?" Jacob grins

"I said turn it off" my voice is louder and I reach out to the radio, Jacob grabs my wrist softly

"Hey, what's wrong?" I snatch my wrist away

"Don't fucking touch me Jacob!" I push every button on the radio to try and get it to turn off but it nothing works

"Hey!" Jacob yells "HEY!" he pushes my hands away and switches the car off, I only just realize that we've pulled over, with that, the music stops. But I sit, with my knees pushed against my chest and my hands on my ears staring blankly out the window.

The hole in my chest is screaming at me.

"What the hell was that Bella?!" Jacob tries to get me to look at him by waving his hands in front of my face, I don't answer I just stare blankly waiting for the pain in my chest to go.

"Damn it Bella, Look at me!" he grabs my chin firmly, but careful not to hurt me

I looked into his large dark eyes, they are the wrong eyes. I look away

"Is it him?"

I looked back at him "Who?" I say weakly

"_Him_, Edward."

My chest collapses at the sound of hearing his name being spoken aloud, and I pull my knees in tighter.

"What? You can't even hear his name?" Jacob says bitterly "Edward, Edward, Edward" He chants. I childishly cover my ears with my hands, and shake my head. Tears slowly began to trickle down my face.

"Aw Bells" Jacob says, his voice immediately calmer "I'm sorry" he takes my hands away from my ears and holds them in his "I'm really sorry"

His hands calm me immediately.

"Me too" I say, my voice flat

"Aw don't go back to that Bella, don't go back to being empty, I won't be able to handle it" he begs and draws circles on my palms with his thumbs, I look down at our hands

"Is this okay?" he says, and I nod. It is okay, it's wonderful, having him here with me, means everything right now, because right now, he's all I've got. My Best friend.

"Promise me Bella, that you won't let yourself sink back into nothing" he looks me dead in the eye, and I think about what he's just asked me. Can I promise that? When I'm sitting here, with my best friend's hands on mine, I think I can. But when I get home tonight and I'm lying in bed and staring at the uneven floorboard on my bedroom floor who's to say I'll be able to keep my promise?

"Bella, promise me" He says again

"I don't know…" I whisper "I don't know if I can"

"I think you can Bella, I think if you try hard enough, you can put this all behind you. You can forget about him" he squeezes my hands gently

"But I don't want to forget him Jacob" his face falls, and then he looks up at me confused,

"You don't want to forget him, but you avoid anything and everything that reminds you of him?" _terrified to remember, forbidden to forget._

"I don't-"

"Don't try and deny it Bella, I watch you, I _know_. I see you when we see couples on the street, you make yourself all small and bow your head, and when we walked passed that piano shop the other week, you folded you arms over you chest and looked away, when the two characters in the movie we watched the other weekend kissed you thought I couldn't see when you wiped the corner of your eye and pulled your knees to your chest; like your doing now. And today, something as simple as a song makes you hysterical…"

I take my hands from his and cross my arms over my chest and shake my head

"You don't get it" I say

"No, Bella, I don't." he says simply.

_

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_**AN: sorry about the swear word lol, hope you can all handle it, just seemed to fit so I went with it. I'm having some trouble thinking an idea of how I'm going to weave in the whole "Jacob-being-a-werewolf" thing into this story. Hmm... Oh and its holidays so I'm either going to be bored out of my wits and post a lot of chapters or be busy and you'll get nothing in the next 2 weeks ! haha! **_


	8. Werewolf

_**A.N: **__**Jacob POV**_

_**Thanks to everyone who finally reviewed :) much appreciated. Keep 'em coming **_

**Chapter 8: Werewolf.**

I do a U turn and start to drive back towards Forks.

"What are you doing?" Bella breaks the silence that's been lingering for the past ten minutes

"I'm taking you home" I say, keeping my eyes on the road

"Oh" she says quietly and turns her head to look out the window, I steal a glance at her, her hair is blocking most of her face but I can see the thin outline of her pale jaw and I have to fight the urge to trace it with my fingers.

We reach her house and I stop in her driveway, she makes no move to get out, but she turns to me

"Don't be mad at me Jake, please don't be mad at me" mad at her?

"I'm not mad Bella" I say, and she shakes her head

"Then why did you bring me back home?" I sigh

"Because we both went a little mental back there, I think we both need to spend the rest of the day cooling off" she bows her head a little "but I'll call you tomorrow okay?" and she nods and begins to put her hand on the door handle

"Bye Jake" she says

"Hey, wait." I say, and she turns around to me "You never promised me"

"Promised you what?"

"That you wouldn't go back to it." I say gently "back to nothing"

"Oh" she frowns a little

"Come on Bells, for me. Just promise" I beg

She leans in and wraps her arms around me, and without hesitation I wrap mine around her. She feels soft and warm in my arms, and she smells fresh like flowers. I bow my head into her hair and breathe it all in, she pulls her head up and smiles at me

"Okay Jake. I promise"

And before I realize what I'm doing, I'm leaning my face into hers and the second my needy lips touch her soft ones she pulls away.

"Oh shit. Bella I'm sorry" but I'm not. I'm not sorry. Because that's something I've wanted to do, ever since I met her. The only thing I'm sorry for at that moment is the fact that she pulled away.

She's looking at me, her chocolate brown eyes, wide. I reach out to touch her hand but she rips it away "Bella…" I say, but she gets out of the car and runs to her front door.

Before she goes inside, she turns back and looks at me; a tear streaming down her face, and shakes her head. _Shit! Shit! Shit!_

What the hell is wrong with me?! I slam my hands on the steering wheel, I'm shaking.

I reverse out of her drive way and speed back to La push. Something's wrong. I'm sweating, and I'm so damn mad, mad at myself. What have I done? She's never going to speak to me again! All because I couldn't control myself. I slam my hands on the steering wheel again.

Suddenly, every part of my body is hurting, my skin is burning and my body is screaming to get out of it, I pull over and get out of the car. I'm dieing, I think. I'm dieing. And then I realize I'm screaming the words aloud

"I'm dieing" I screech, I'm bent over with my arms wrapped around my stomach

"You're not dieing Jacob" I look up; Sam Uley is standing in front of me.

"What the-" I don't finish my sentence, instead I let out a agonizing scream, Sam grabs my arm and pulls me into the bush land on the side of the road, I don't protest. I'm in too much pain to care

"Jacob, calm down. Don't fight it" what's he talking about?

"Don't fight what?" I manage to say

"Your body" he says "Don't fight your bones"

"Don't fight? I feel like I'm about to combust!" I yell, and with that, my skin explodes, and I feel large and different. But the burning and the shaking has stopped, and I pull my head up to look at Sam Uley and ask him what just happened, but instead of seeing him I find my self face to face with an overgrown wolf. I try to scream, but the only thing I hear is a loud howling sound, has it just come from me? I go to run, but something in my mind stops me. Sam Uley's voice.

"_Welcome to the pack." _

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_**AN: sorry if this was a bit rushed. But I needed to get the werewolf thing over and done with quickly so I could continue on with the story. Hope you enjoyed it. Review me your thoughts :) **_


	9. Relapse

_**A.N: **__**Bella POV**_

_**Thanks again for the reviews :) it's really cool to log on and find out people have read this and like it! So keep them coming, please. **_

**Chapter 9: Relapse**

I run through the front door with tears staining my cheeks and race to my room.

I'm sobbing hard and I don't even know why… I'm angry, no, I'm furious.

But that's not all, there's something else, something else causing the tears. And I can't put my finger on it, but I know it's somehow connected to the unhealed hole in my heart.

Jacob Black kissed me.

He bent down, and pressed his unfamiliar _warm _lips to mine.

It was wrong. _He_ was wrong! The shape of his lips, the touch of them, even the strange taste left over from them after the brief touch was all _wrong._ And the warmth, the unbearable warmth of his lips. _Wrong._ The wrong lips.

And before I know it, I'm getting the barbeque scraper from my draw and lifting the loose floorboard up. I take out my pictures and the tears tumble on them, the tears are blurring my eyes so I force myself to stop, so I can see his face clearly. I take out the CD and put it into my stereo and press repeat. I gather my photos and sit on my bed, listening to my melody and staring at his face. I feel the unbelievable need to be close to him. To touch him, to _hear _him. Looking at these pictures, it's just not enough. Not right now, not when I'm craving him so badly. I need something; I need a way to feel him again. I need something more than these photos to prove that it was all real, that there really was a point of time, where he loved me, completely. _The meadow _I think, if there is a place where I can feel something, _anything_. It would be the meadow, our special place. _Once upon a time._

Lying in my bed, with my melody still softly playing like magic, I'm not upset anymore. I'm excited.

In my head I am planning tomorrow, my hike to the meadow. The word hike doesn't even bother me. Because right now, all I'm thinking of is him.

I wake up with excitement still flowing in my veins. Today, I think, is going to be a good day. I have a shower and get dressed and go down stairs, where Charlie is on the couch in the living room.

"Morning Bells" he says cheerily, looking up from his paper

"Morning Dad" I say and I grab a bowl and cereal out of the cupboard

"Heading out to La push today?" Charlie had been _very _supportive of my friendship with Jacob from the start.

"Uh, no. Not today" I say "What about you dad? What are you going to do today?" I add trying to change the subject

"Well I was going to go fishing with Billy, but he called early this morning to say that Jake had come down with the flu or something. Poor kid-Probably for the best that you're not going there-So I think I'll just stay home"

"He seemed fine last night" I was suddenly curious

"Mm, well you know the flu, it just creeps up on ya', hope he's okay" I nod, with my mouth full "so if your not going to La push what are you up and ready for?" he asks

"Oh well… uh I'm going to Angela's for the day" I say hoping that it was convincing, as much as I hated to lie, especially to Charlie, he would never let me go into the woods alone if I told him "I'm walking there" I add quickly, needing an excuse for not taking the truck.

"Okay Bells." He stands up and comes over to the table "It's good to hear that you're really starting to move on, and you're starting to get your glow back, I can see it. Especially today" he smiles at me, and I instantly feel guilty. I nod and turn away, and put my bowl in the sink.

"Thanks dad" I mumble "I better get going."

I pack a light bag with a bottle of water and a cheese sandwich in it and head outside.

The sun is out. Perfect, I smile to myself.

How I find it exactly, I do not know. I act on instinct and instinct alone. Trudging through the trees and tripping every 5 minutes. Determined to find it.

And I do. I brush a branch out of my way and it reveals my paradise, the meadow.

It is exactly the same as it was the last time we'd been there, still as beautiful and the light was glowing through the canopy above. My breath is caught in my throat, but I force it out, and put a hand to my chest, comforting the hole that is starting to ache. The lack of his presence is so evident. It stands out above all things. The meadow, of course, is still stunning. But without him, the magic is simply gone. And I'm falling apart all over again. I let myself hope too much, expected too much out of nothing. I know I should go. But I cant, I find myself lying where he and I had laid that very first time here. The sun warms me, and it is comforting. I'm struck with the memory of the first time he brought me here, the day it became _our meadow._ The day he first kissed me. "_And so the lion fell in love with the lamb" _he had said. I can hear him saying it, even now, so clearly. My chest is burning but I can't stop, I keep thinking it; I keep repeating the words in my head over and over again until the only thing I feel is anger. For the first time since he left I'm angry because of it. When did that change? When exactly did the lion fall out of love with that lamb? And why? But as soon as I think that, I know the answer, the lamb was inexcusably inferior. She always was, _I_ always was. It was inevitable that he would one day realize it.

I stay in the meadow for hours, lying in the sun. But I finally decide its time to go home, to leave this place for the last time.

Just as I begin to walk back, I come across a familiar face…

_**

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_**AN: sorry if this chapters a bit boring, I found it really hard to do. I don't know why, maybe its writers block lol ? It's missing something though. **_

_**Anyway… R&R please & I'll try and get the next chapter up tomorrow. **_

_**Thanks. **_


	10. Welcome to Forks

_**A.N: **__**Alice POV**_

_**I had to do research for this one lol well, I had to Google a map of the U.S and "Fast cars" I classify that as research. **_

**Chapter 10: Welcome to Forks**

"Laurent." I gasp, coming back to reality. Its 2am and my whole family's eyes on me

"Who?" Emmett says

"What did you see Alice?" Jasper squeezes my hand

Carlisle and Esme are looking at me, with questions in their eyes

"I need to call Edward" I announce as I stand up and run to our room and grab my cell phone, I sit down on the bed and Jasper seats himself beside me

"I told the others to put a hold on the Spanish inquisition until you've spoken with Edward" I try to laugh, but the urgency of the situation has taken hold and I quickly dial Edwards phone and pray that he picks up

"Alice?" he says, his voice the same flat monotone as the last time they'd spoken

"Edward, I had another vision… of Bella" I hear him take in a sharp breath

"Tell me" he says

"It was brief and flashy, bits and pieces I'm unsure about" I say

"Just get to it Alice" he snaps

"Okay, well I see Bella at the meadow you two used to go, with… Laurent"

"Laurent? From James's coven?" he says, his voice a little shaky

"That's the one" I confirm "I don't know specifically why he is there, but he's thirsty I can see that, I can't tell whether he's there to hurt her or not, but I get the feeling he's warning her of something"

There is a silence at the other end

"Edward?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Is that all you see? Are you sure you don't see him…hurting her?" I can tell he's forced the last two words out, and I can hear the pain in his voice

"Not yet" I say "but it was very flashy, I think it's because he's thirsty, maybe he's trying to control himself"

"When?" he says

"I can't tell, argh this is so _frustrating_" I feel Jaspers hand on my shoulder, I'd forgotten he was there, and I immediately feel calmer, I glance at him and give him a quick smile "where are you Edward?" I say

"Michigan" he replies

"How quick can you get to Forks?" I say, a rhetorical question

"I'll catch a flight to Seattle, you do the same. We'll get a car, then we'll go to Forks together" he says quickly before hanging up.

"So you heard" I say turning to Jasper and he nods

"I'll go tell the others, you get prepared" he says before running back downstairs.

The earliest flight I can get is in two hours, and I'm lucky to even get that, due to cancellations. My first time flying coach. Joy.

I pack a suitcase with a few outfits, unsure about how long I'd be in Forks for, and then go downstairs.

"I think I should go with you" Emmett says, I shake my head

"No, no need for anyone else besides me to go. I'll call you all if there is" I say quickly turning to Carlisle

"I've got a flight in 2 hours, when I get to Seattle I'll call okay?"

"Are you going to be okay Alice? Do you need to hunt before hand?" he asks in a concerned voice

"No I hunted the day before yesterday, I think that'll be enough at least until I reach Seattle" I say and he nods

"Tell Edward we all miss him" Esme says and I hug her

"Of course I will"

"And we'll pray Bella will be safe" she says, and everyone nods, except for Rosalie who is standing blankly beside Emmett.

"Okay well I better be off. I'll call you"

Jasper grabs my suitcase off me "I'll drive you" he says

"Call me as soon as you get off that plane okay?" Jasper says when we pull up at the airport

"I will, I promise" I smile at him, and he leans in and kisses me softly

"I love you" he says "hurry back"

"I love you too. I will" I say and get my suitcase.

On the plane I'm seated next to a poorly dressed middle aged woman who insists on "chitchat" I politely tell her I've got a migraine and spend the rest of the flight desperately trying to tune into Bellas future. But I get nothing, something I'm not used to at all. I don't know whether to take this as good or bad, but it makes me feel blind and useless all the same.

When I get off the plane I am not surprised to see that Edward is already there, with a car ready, _this _was one thing I did see. I haven't seen Edward in over 2 months, but there is no time for a reunion.

"Anything new?" he asks taking my suitcase and leading the way outside of the airport

"_No, nothing"_ I answer in my head, and his eyes close for the briefest second, and I don't know If it's in relief or fear

"_I need to hunt" _I say, still in my head

"No time Alice" he says and I nod, unsure about whether I'll be alright with that

"You'll be fine, you've gone longer without hunting" he says, hearing my doubts.

We finally come to the car, he has obviously just stolen, it's a beautiful black Noble M400, Edward throws my suitcase in the back and guides me to the passenger seat

"Settle down Alice, I'm driving" he says with a chuckle, but the sound is unusual, it doesn't sound right coming from his tense body.

"I'm Fine" he says answering my thoughts "shouldn't you call Jasper" he reminds me

And I get out my cell phone and dial jaspers phone

"Alice" he breaths

"Jas" I say

"How are you? Have you had any change with Bella?" he asks

"I'm fine, but no. Nothing. I feel like I'm blind" I say

"You? Blind?" he laughs, and it soothes me "where are you?"

"We're in the car now; on the way to Forks" I say "I better go"

"Okay Alice, be safe and I miss you" he says

"I miss you too"

"Call as soon as possible" he adds

"I will, bye" I hang up.

We're going over 200ks/hour and Edward finally breaks the silence

"I was thinking, maybe she won't have to know we're there"

"What do you mean?" I say not quite understanding

"Bella, I mean we could just get Laurent away, it shouldn't be hard, if his intentions are not bad. She doesn't have to know that we ever came back" he says thoughtfully and I scowl

"No Edward, I think we've stayed away _far_ too long" I say "and what if his intentions are not good?" his fists clench at the steering wheel

"But I promised" he says "I promised I wouldn't cause her any more pain"

"Edward, don't think about any of that now. Right now, think about that fact that she might not even be alive by the time we get to Forks" his head quickly spins to face me

"What?!" he yells

"What I'm saying is, in my head, she has no future. All we know right now is that for some reason Bella is going to come face to face with a vampire sometime today, and regardless of whether that vampire has good intentions or not, this is not a good thing"

I look at Edward but he is distracted by something, I follow his gaze, and about 20 metres ahead I see it, a sign…

_Welcome to Forks._

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_**AN: Oooh another cliffhanger! Okay, a long one I know! Had to fit it all in one chapter. Good? Bad? Let me know! **_

_**R & R**_

_**And thanks to everyone whos been reviewing!**_


	11. Warning

_**A.N: **__**Bella POV.**_

_**Thanks for the reviews guys :) let me know what you think of this one…**_

_**Oh and by the way, this is like Bella's version of chapter 10. If you know what I mean, like immediately after chapter 9. Just so you don't think I've skipped time. **_

**Chapter 11: Warning**

I squeezed my eyes to get a better look at the dark figure in front of me; his catlike stance, his skin, olive-toned beneath the paleness and his glossy black hair. A man I had only ever met once before, but on a night that was forever burned into my memory.

"Laurent?" I ask, and his eyes flicker up to mine, I don't miss the ruby outline of his irises.

"Bella?" he looks at me, his eyes hard, as if to confirm that it is really me "Is that you?"

I stand there, only a meter away from a vampire, not sure what to feel. I don't know whether he is good or bad, if he's there to hurt me or not. All I know is that he is what I was looking for when I came to the meadow today, the evidence, the proof that _he_ was real, that I didn't make him up.

"Yes, it's me" I say with a small smile "what are you doing here?" the last time I'd seen him; he was going up to Alaska "I thought you were going to Denali"

"Ah, yes. I did go there for a short time. But I found it hard… their diet" he looks away uncomfortably "I'm in Forks, for you actually" he says looking back at me with his red gaze, I am immediately alarmed

"W-what?" I say, stepping back a little "what do you mean for me" my voice shaking despite my best efforts to sound calm

"No, No, Bella don't be scared" he reaches out to me but I step back again, unsure what he's playing at, he pulls his hand back and sighs "I'm here, to warn you" he says

"Warn me?" I ask in confusion "of what?"

"Well you see, when I left the Denali, I met up with Victoria" I remember the name instantly, Victoria. The red haired female from James's coven, his ally.

"What does that have to do with me?" I ask, and he chuckles, a little dark

"It has quite a lot to do with you, Sweet Bella" I shudder slightly "James being Victoria's mate and all, you could only imagine how upset she was after your Edward killed him" I try to keep my face as composed as possible as he says _his _name, but my heart gives itself away by fluttering softly, Laurent gives me a curious look before continuing "She's still very angry Bella. She wants revenge" he says eyeing me carefully

"Revenge from me?" I say trying to keep calm "but I didn't kill James"

He shrugs "The way Victoria sees it, its only fair if you die, mate for mate"

I'm trying to process this all when I suddenly become suspicious "Why are you telling me this? Are you here to kill me?" I ask, forcing my voice to be even and calm

"No, I am here, as a request from Victoria to find out about you, to see how she could get around your vampires" he says "but after Carlisle was so kind to me last time I was here, I found I couldn't let this happen without warning you before hand, I felt I owed them all a little. Might I ask where they are?" he asks,

but before I can answer, Laurent straightens quickly and turns his nose up; smelling something my weak human senses cannot smell. And suddenly he is crouching low in position, waiting, for something I don't know.

I am immediately frightened, I don't know what to expect but thoughts of Victoria wildly coming to avenge her lover are flickering through my head and I'm about to turn and run, but then I see it. What Laurent smelt and was waiting for… a massive overgrown wolf, its lips are curled back over its sharp teeth and it's letting out a low, fierce growl.

Its dark eyes are intent on Laurent, who is no longer in crouching position. He turns and runs and the wolf follows straight after.

I try to compose myself, but my heart is thumping out of my chest as I run to what I hope is the right way out of the forest, my mind is racing with thoughts of Victoria and Laurent and the terrifying wolf I've just seen.

I try to concentrate on not falling as I run, but then my foot gets caught on a small twig and I'm falling before I know it, but instead of hitting the hard forest floor, I find my self being caught in a pair of cold, hard, all too familiar, set of arms…

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_**AN: short, I know! This is why I'm going to post the next chapter tonight, with this one. That means you guys are gunna owe me big time in the review department! **_

_**Tell me what you think… **_

_**REVIEW! **_


	12. Answers

_**A.N: **__**Bella POV.**_

_**Thanks again for the reviews guys! **_

_**And what should I name this story??! I need some ideas! **_

**Chapter 12: Answers**

I keep my eyes tightly shut as I feel myself being lifted up by something that can only be described as a figment of my imagination, I've been knocked out I tell myself. But my thoughts are interrupted by the sound of an angel's velvet voice

"Hold onto me Bella" it says, and I do what I'm told, and wrap my arms around the angels cold stone neck and curl my head into his chest, breathing in the intoxicating scent of him… I'm going to be sorry for this when I wake up I think, but I push the thought aside as I feel the swift movement under me, we must be running.

We suddenly come to a stop, but I still don't open my eyes

"Is she okay?" another angel? I think

"Bella, open your eyes" my angels velvet voice whispers, his breath blowing my face.

I hesitate, this is going to cost me I think, but I need to see him. Even if he's not real, I need to see him. So I slowly open my lids, and when I do, he is there. His beautiful, pale face is staring back at me, his topaz eyes gazing into mine. It's all too real, I gasp. And then slowly fade back into darkness.

I wake, to the feeling of someone lightly slapping my face. I groan, what a dream I think.

"Bella?!" I freeze immediately. I know that voice. I'd know that soft pixie-like voice anywhere.

"Am I still dreaming?" I say groggily, opening my eyes, my heart stops. I'm in the living room of the house I thought I'd never be in again, lying on the couch. More importantly Alice, is standing over me with a wide grin plastered on her face, she giggles

"No silly, you fainted" she says "are you okay?" she presses the cold back of her hand to my forehead and I shiver

"Are you really here?" I whisper and she frowns

"What am I going to do with you Bella?" She says softly and before I can stop myself I'm crying, sobbing hysterically in the arms of Alice Cullen, my best friend

"W-what are you doing here?" I manage to say in between sobs, she rubs small circles in my back with her cold hard palms

"Don't you remember?" she says, and I try to think of the last thing I remember, being in the woods with Laurent, and then that massive wolf… did that all happen?

"Laurent" I say "Laurent is here! He said something about Victoria, she's after me!" I say in a rush, suddenly remembering

"Yes, we know" she says soothingly "that's why we're here"

I frown "we?" I whisper

"Oh Bella, don't you remember? You tripped in the woods, and Edward caught you, and brought you back here… then you fainted" it was real?

"He…is…here?" I gasp my breath hitching, I can't breathe, I can't breathe

"I can't breathe!" I scream

"Bella! Bella! Calm down" she soothes, rubbing my back "Breathe" she says

And I slowly begin to calm down, trying to put all the pieces floating around in my head together, Victoria is after me. Laurent is here in Forks possibly after me as well. There is some kind of massive over grown wolf roaming around in the forest. Alice is here…

And _he _is here… Edward is here.

"W-where" I swallow "Where is he? Where is…Edward?" I force his name out my mouth, saying it for the first time in over 2 months, it suprises me how easily it flows coming from my lips

"He's in the woods, searching for Laurent, making sure he doesn't come anywhere near the house" she says softly "he thought you might need some time… before seeing him"

I think about this for a moment, but then I'm struck with a frightening thought

"No! No Alice, he can't be in the woods!" I shout "there's a wolf, a massive wolf in there somewhere. Even Laurent was afraid of it!" she puts her hands on my shoulders

"It's okay Bella, we know about the werewolves" she reassures me "they won't go anywhere in those woods now that we're here"

"Werewolves?" I say, trying to comprehend all this information

"Maybe you should sleep Bella, this has been a big day for you, a lot of information to process" she says

"No, Alice I'm fine, just…help me understand… what's going on?" she sighs

"I'll start from the beginning shall I?" I nod, staring at her in awe, I still can't believe she's really here… holding me and talking to me like nothing had ever happened at all.

"Well, when we… left" I flinch and it doesn't escape her knowledge, she frowns but continues anyway "I had frequent visions of you, I wasn't looking for anything, I'd promised Edward." She spoke softly, her musical voice filling my heart with every word "but I had them anyway, in every vision you were so sad Bella, you weren't yourself" she looks up at me, her eyes sad

"I was sad" I say "But your back now" I try to smile

"Anyway, when I was finally able to get a hold of Edward, I told him, I told him that it wasn't working, us not being here in Forks, that you were devastated. Not good." She says "But he was so stubborn" she rolls her eyes "he said that he wasn't going to ruin your life by waltzing back into it, he said if I had another vision then to call him but until then he was going to "stick to the plan"" she used her fingers as quotation marks when she said that and imitated his voice, I couldn't help but laugh "I hadn't had another vision for a while, it was weird, but then the other day I got little flashes, of you, in the meadow with Laurent. I didn't know what he was doing there or anything, all I knew was that you might be in danger" she says looking at me "so I called Edward, he got on a plane. We met up in Seattle and drove here, all the while I got nothing from you, I tried my hardest to see something, anything but I got nothing! It was so frustrating!" she recalls

"Why?" I say "I mean why couldn't you see anything?"

"Well, my dear, I didn't know until we started running through the woods to find you" she says "we were trying to follow your scent, but suddenly there was another scent" she says scrunching up her nose "the scent of a werewolf"

"And what exactly is that?" I say

"I thought you knew all the legends?" she says smiling, I shake me head, confused "The Quilettes" she prompts

The name jogs my memory, the Quilette Tribe from La push; I think… what do they have to do with werewolves? And suddenly I remember, the conversation I had with Jacob at first beach so long ago; _the cold ones are the natural enemy of the wolf- well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves. _He had said, suddenly it all makes sense

"The La Push boys are werewolves?" I say and she nods

"There's one in particular" she says "a friend of yours apparently"

I don't know what she's talking about and my face obviously shows it

"Jacob Black" she states

Another blow of information, what else would I find out today?

"Jacob's a werewolf??" I say astonishingly "since when?!"

"Apparently only recently" she says "you didn't know this?"

"I had no idea" I say quietly "was he… the one in the woods today?" remembering the dark eyes of the wolf, I shudder

She nods "yes that was him, he was protecting you" she says "although, being that close to a werewolf is very dangerous, especially young ones, that are yet to learn to control themselves" she says

"Oh" I say "I still don't understand though, I mean why did the werewolves being here affect what you could see?"

"Well I don't know why for sure, but apparently I cannot "see" the werewolves, so if your future includes a werewolf, I cannot see it, which would explain the flashy bits. And then the not seeing anything at all" she explains

"Oh" I say again and she laughs

"You sure have had a lot of shocks today Bella, are you sure you don't want to rest?" she asks

Rest is the last thing I want to do, now that I understand what has happened, my mind flicks back to the fact that _he _is here.

"Alice" I say quietly

"Hmm?" she says looking at me

"Is he…" I swallow "Is Edward, coming back soon?"

"He told me to call, when you were ready" she says "but are you ready Bella?"

I nod "Call him Alice" I say

She looks at me intently, as if trying to decide what to do, and then gracefully stands up from the lounge and gets her cell phone from the table. I watch as she glides away, just out of ear shot to dial the number on her phone.

_Edward_ I say in my head, Edward is coming… I am going to see him. I don't let myself think of what its going to do to me when he leaves again; I just need to see his face again.

I look over at Alice who is talking quietly into the phone, her face gives away nothing. Abruptly- she hangs up the phone and comes over to me, where I am still seated on the lounge.

"He is coming now Bella" she says softly I nod, trying to contain the feelings that are running through me, I want to laugh and cry and scream all at the same time. What am I going to say to him? What am I going to do? What is _he _going to do?

Suddenly, Alice is not there anymore I turn to see her running up the stairs

"Ali-" I begin, but then I see him, standing in the front door, his beautiful eyes staring intently at mine. He looks the same, his bronze hair still boyish and beautiful, his lanky body and skin are still as pale as before, he is still as breathtakingly beautiful as he always was. My heart is stuttering, beating loudly in my chest and I know he can hear it, but I cannot bring myself to be embarrassed, because he is here, standing only 2 meters away, close enough to touch if I wanted, which I do… I want to run up to him now and touch every part of him, to make sure he is real, make sure he is really truly here. But I don't move, I _can't _move. I just stand there, staring… and then he speaks

"Bella" he breathes and takes a step towards me…

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_**AN: sorry for this... Another cliffhanger! But it seems to keep you guys reading!**_

_**I know it must seem that I am prolonging their reunion, which I guess I am. I want it to be good. So next chapter... You just wait! FINALLY! Huh? I've been hanging out for it too lol**_

_**As always REVIEW please and thankyou! **_

_**I'll ud ASAP, maybe not until after the weekend. **_


	13. Reunion

_**A.N: **__**Edward POV**_

_**Wow, I've been a little busy. Sorry for leaving everyone hanging... here goes :) **_

**Chapter 13: Reunion. **

There was never a time, in which I wanted to be able to read her mind, as much as I did at this very moment, just to have the slightest idea of what she was thinking.

Here she is, standing no more than 2 meters away, staring at me with her beautiful chocolate wide eyes. She is silent, but her heart is thumping loudly away in her chest, the familiar sound is so comforting, and I begin to realize just how much I missed it. But I don't know whether her heart is thumping because of the sight of me or because she is afraid, I have no idea what to say, no idea what to _do_. She doesn't seem like she's going to say anything anytime soon, so I decide to take the first move.

"Bella." I breathe, softly taking a step towards her, careful not to frighten her; Alice had mentioned that she was a bit shaken up. I wait for her reaction, but she does not move or take her eyes off mine, so I take another step, and another, until I am standing inches away from her looking down on her beautiful face. She tilts her head upwards to mine and gazes into my eyes, and I am perfectly sure that if I was human my heart would have stopped. A strand of her hair is covering her face and I bravely brush it away with my finger, feeling the warmth of her cheekbone as I push it away, the strand stirs the air and a wave of her scent comes at me, the same tempting floral smell I remember, and I inhale softly, as if to bottle it away.

"Edward" she says quietly, surprising me.

I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her into me gently, embracing her, and I feel her warm arms wrap around my back tightly. We stay like that for a while, enjoying the silent moment, not needing anything for the moment, just holding onto each other.

I only break away when I hear the soft sobs coming from her, I pull her back and look at her as the tears start to flow from her eyes, she looks down, and I tilt her head back up to mine and wipe the tears with my fingers. I lace my fingers around hers and guide her to the couch, where we sit.

"I'm so sorry Bella" I say, looking at her intently, my beautiful Bella. How did I ever manage to leave in the first place?

"For what?" she says softly, where do I start? I think.

"For everything…" I say, pausing "For not being here"

She doesn't say anything for a moment; she just looks down at the patterns of the couch, as if thinking of what to say, finally, she speaks "you…don't have to… apologize…" she swallows "for…not…wanting me" she says, mumbling the last 2 words, still looking at the couch intently.

I cannot believe what I hear; she can not really still believe that I don't _want _her. I more than wanted her. I _needed _her; this was one thing I was sure of, especially after being without her for so long. How could I show her this? How could I prove that I still loved her… that I had never stopped?

"Bella…" I begin "I didn't leave because I didn't want you"

"But you said-" she says, her face puzzled

"I lied" I say simply and she turns her face away, and gathers her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, as if to hold herself together, I look at her turned away face, and see a tear sliding down her cheek, and just as I reach to wipe it away and ask what is wrong she turns her face back abruptly to mine.

"Then _why?"_ she says, her voice is pained, and I can't bear it "_why _did you leave…and why did you _lie?_"

I brush the tears away from her face, _I've done this to her _I think _I've caused these tears, _I wince.

"I did it for you" I say, meeting my eyes to hers

"_For _me?" she says, her tone with a little edge to it "you left me…_for _me?!" her eyes are wide with horror, I take her hand in mine, trying to soothe her

"I thought it was what was best for you" I say, but it doesn't soothe her, it only starts the tears again

"You thought…taking my…life…away" she sobs "…was for … the best?!"

I pull her into my lap and start to stroke her soft hair, as she cries

"Oh Bella" I say "I had to do _something. _Everyday I spent with you, I took away more and more of your chance of normality, and I couldn't do that to you anymore" I whisper quietly into her ear. The sobs easing

"I didn't want normality" she says quietly

"Only because you'd met me" I say

"But you said in the forest-"

"Forget _everything _I said that day in the forest" I say, putting my hands on either side of her face "because I didn't mean any of it… even when I said, a part of me will always love you, it was a lie" I watch her face fall underneath my palms "…because _every _part of me will always love you" I finish, she frowns and closes her eyes

"Bella?" I say quietly "what's wrong?"

She slowly opens her eyes and gazes them into mine

"I've had this dream before" she says softly, and my heart breaks

"Your not dreaming Bella" I say matching her frown

"Then why are you saying this?" she asks

"You don't believe me?" I say deepening my gaze, she seems lost for a moment, but quickly regains her thoughts

"How can I believe what you've just said, when I've been believing what you've said in the forest for months now?" she says breathlessly

"How many times have I told you I love you?" I say

"Quite a few" her voice is flat

"Then why do those few words in the forest override that?" I say; my voice strong

She is silent for a few moments, her eyes not meeting my gaze. And then she speaks softly "Because you not wanting me makes so much more sense than you loving me" she wipes the tears starting to fill her eyes away "you were bound to figure it out sooner or later" she says quietly, moving her head away from my hold and looking away

"How can you think that?" I say

"How can you not?" she replies flatly

"Bella, look at me" she turns her head slightly, meeting my eyes "I love you" I say "I left, _because _of this reason, but I know now, that it was a mistake. I thought you would be better off, but clearly you weren't"

"Clearly" she mumbles

"I've lived over a century" I say ignoring her "and I've experienced many painful things physically and mentally, but none, _none _of them compared to being without you" This was the absolute truth, it was all I could give to her now to help make her understand

"What about when you were changed?" she says, and I think back to those 3 days in agony, the pain I would remember for eternity, but it now, seems nothing compared to the loneliness and pain I felt being away from Bella

"Worse" I say looking her straight in the eye, so she can't deny my truth , she opens her mouth to speak but I put a cold finger to her lips "I love you Isabella Marie Swan, I did 3 months ago, I still do now, and I still will in forever" I say and then I replace my finger with my lips and softly press them against hers, it starts slow and warm, and I think about the unspoken boundaries that I had carefully put in place before I had left, but they slowly fade away as she responds to my kiss and parts her lips ever so slightly, letting my tongue trace the insides of her mouth. It is utter heaven to be kissing her again after so long, an indescribable moment. She breaks away, in need of air and then looks at me, her full lips pulled into a small smile

"I love you too" she breathes softly, and I pull her into my arms and hold her for what seems like forever

After a long while, Bella breaks the silence

"Edward, are you…" she says quietly, sitting up "are you going to stay?"

"I can't leave you" I say "never again"

She smiles and falls back into my arms, but then gets back up again

"What about…everyone else?" she says "will they come back for good?"

I take her hand in mine "I don't know" I kiss it gently "I hope so"

Suddenly, Alice is standing before us, smiling

"Alice." Bella smiles "welcome back"

Alice laughs "sorry to interrupt" she says and then turns her gaze on me

"Edward, did you see anything out in the forest?" she says, reminding me of the news I had

"No, I didn't see anything" I say "but I did _smell _something, Laurent is dead"

Bella straightens, and her eyes are wide "What?! How?!" she says

"The werewolves" I say

"How?" she says, and I look at Alice

"I thought you explained the werewolves to her?" Alice shrugs

"She did" Bella cuts in "but there was only one…Jacob…" she says softly "how can one werewolf kill a _vampire_?" she says

"The rest of the pack would have came Bella" Alice says, reassuring her "and Laurent wouldn't have stood a chance against them"

"Would Jacob get hurt?" Bella says her voice a little shaky, it made me wonder how close Bella and the dog were.

"I highly doubt that Bella" Alice says "Don't worry"

"Thank god" Bella says, relief washing over her face "and Laurent is gone?!" I nod

And she smiles broadly, but it quickly fades, and she speaks again, the shaky tone re-entering;

"What about… Victoria?"

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_**AN: there we go! Finally!**_

_**I feel I'm in need in some inspiration for this… so please REVIEW! It will help me update a lot quicker. Seriously. **_


	14. Familiar Territory

_**A.N: **__**Bella POV**_

_**I think last chapter I received the most reviews then I have before, thanks a lot guys. It really keeps me going :)**_

**Chapter 14: Familiar Territory**

I was suddenly panicking again. How could I have forgotten about Victoria? She was the _real _threat here.

Edward squeezed the hand that was in his, obviously sensing my distress, it made me thankful that Jasper wasn't here, for his sake; the range of emotions I had gone through tonight was ridiculous.

"It's okay Bella" Edward Soothed "I wont let her get anywhere near you" he promised

I looked up and he smiled warmly at me, I felt instantly calmer

"But is she here?" I said "in Forks?"

"No. But _if _she gets anywhere close, I'll know about it" Alice said, tapping a finger to her head, I nodded, but the anguish was still there and Edward could tell

"Don't worry about her now Bella" he said "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it… _if _we come to it" he noted, pressing his cool lips to my forehead.

I looked up into his glittering topaz eyes, and my breath hitched, his beauty took my breath away. He saw this and smiled my crooked smile that I had dreamed of seeing again for so long and my stomach did flips inside of me, he was_ really_ back.

I yawned before I could stop myself, and Edwards smile faded

"You need to get some sleep" he said, picking me up, effortlessly, like he had so many times before

"Wait, no" I said, suddenly remembering my father "what about Charlie? Where does he think I am? Wait. What's the time?" I said, looking outside, into the darkness "…What's the _date_?" I hadn't realized how confused I was

Edward chuckled in my ear

"Relax Bella, it's about 2am, and Alice called Charlie and said you were staying at Angela's" he said in his velvet voice

"Charlie knows you guys are here?" I said, a little worried about how Charlie would react to Edwards return

"No" Alice said "I put on Angela's voice" she laughed

"Oh" I said a little relieved

"Now that that's settled…" Edward said starting up the stairs with me in his arms,

Before I knew it we were in his room and I was lying on the black leather couch that was still in the same position as the last time I'd been there, as was everything else in the room.

"Goodnight Bella" I heard Alice call from downstairs, I frowned and looked up at Edward, who was standing over me

"I don't want to sleep" I said "I want to stay up with you and Alice"

"We'll still be here in the morning" he said smiling his crooked smile at me

"Will you?" I whispered softly and his smile faded

"I won't leave your side all night" he promised

"And Alice?" I said

"She's not going anywhere tonight either" he smiled "just get some rest"

I nodded, then reached out and pulled his shirt forward, he leaned in with it and I reached up to plant my lips to his, a cool soft kiss goodnight. "I love you" I breathed

"I love you too" he said, breaking away slowly, but I didn't let go of his shirt

"Bella, you need to sleep" he said smiling

"Will you lay with me Edward?" I said, looking into his beautiful eyes, they softened as I spoke and before I knew it, I was repositioned underneath Edward, my head resting lightly on his chest, I smiled, closing my eyes "Goodnight Edward" I said yawning

He chuckled "Goodnight Beautiful" he said softly, and I drifted off into a dreamless sleep…

I woke up feeling very rested, and for the tiniest moment I thought I was in my bed at home, but then the night before caught up with me in a massive rush, and I realized that I was not on my bed at home, I was on Edward in his home, he was back and so was Alice, Laurent was killed by Jacob; who was a werewolf and Victoria was after me, I started to dwell on that last bit for a moment, but I was distracted by the feel of a pair of cold hands on either side of my face

"Edward" I smiled, straightening up so that I could look at him, he smiled back and my troubles were lost

"You're awake" he said "Finally"

"What's the time?" I said, looking outside to try and get an idea of the time, but Fork's cloudy weather was never any help so I didn't get much, just that it was obviously day.

"It's nearly 2pm" he said

"Oh" he laughed and then pulled me up into his arms

"You must be hungry" he said, and I could have sworn I saw a twinkle of excitement in his eyes

At that moment, my stomach growled

"I guess I am" I said, feeling the blush rise to my cheeks

He laughed "Ah the return of the blush!" I blushed deeper and turned my face away, but I couldn't help but join in his laughter

"So what are you going to feed me?" I said, changing the subject

"Hmm…" he said "I don't know, let's go downstairs" he grabbed my wrists and gently put them around his neck before standing up with me in his arms and running out of his room and downstairs

When we got down there and he put me down, I gasped.

Standing in the large room next to Edwards beautiful piano, were 5 vampires I had been desperate to see for months.

Esme was the first to come forward, her arms outstretched, ready to embrace me.

I fell into her arms without hesitation and clung to her marble body like I never had before

"It's good to see you Bella" she whispered softly in my ear and I couldn't stop the tears from coming, I was just so happy, she gently wiped them away as they fell

As I stepped back from Esme's embrace I was quickly picked up by a familiar set of arms

"Emmett!" I laughed as he bear-hugged me with his giant arms; he put me down

"How's it going sis'?" he said, smiling his familiar broad smile

"Good" I beamed, and he laughed

Next to him, stood Carlisle; still as charmingly gorgeous as ever.

I looked up at him

"Bella" he smiled "Wonderful to see you again"

"You too Carlisle" I said, and I looked around to see Jasper and Alice standing together quietly, I looked at Alice and she winked at me and I couldn't help but laugh.

I met Jaspers gaze and he nodded politely, keeping his distance as always. It didn't bother me though; I knew he didn't mean anything by it, I smiled in response.

And then I saw Rosalie, standing away from everyone. This usually would have bothered me, but to be completely honest I had missed her as much as I had missed the rest of the Cullen's, and it was just a relief to see her again.

I felt Edward come to stand beside me, he snaked his arm around my waist and I looked up at him, he smiled his crooked smile back at me and my heart fluttered; his smile broadened.

Regaining my composure I spoke, "Are you all… staying?" I said

And Carlisle smiled at me "yes Bella, we're staying" I smiled

"And don't you even worry about Victoria, Bella" Emmett said "If she comes anywhere near Forks, I'll get her" he said proudly, and Esme shook her head.

"Bella dear" she spoke softly "Are you hungry? How about some eggs?"

I smiled "that'd be perfect" I said as Edward lead me to the couch in the empty lounge room and sat me on his lap

"I missed them" I said softly

"They missed you too" he said, looking at me "_I_ missed you"

"I missed you more than anything" I said "I'm so happy you are all back, I can't explain it"

He leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips, sending my heart into overdrive. He chuckled "nothings changed" he said

"Unfortunately" I mumbled, but it only made him laugh more

"After you eat, I better take you home" he said, and I panicked

"No, I don't want to leave you" I said my voice edgy, he must of sensed the panic because he spoke gently

"I'll come with you Bella" he said

"But I…" I said "I don't know how Charlie's going to react to you being back Edward, I mean, I was … pretty messed up…I think he thinks it was your fault" I bowed my head a little but Edward lifted it with his cool hard fingers

"It _was _my fault Bella" he said sadly, looking into my eyes "and I'm going to make it up to you somehow"

"Just you being here, makes up for _everything _Edward" I said "I'm just worried about how Charlie will react"

"Let's go and find out" he said, taking my hand…

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_**AN: sorry to end it so abruptly but I thought I'd save the rest for a new chapter. **_

_**Please review and tell me what you think… it really does effect how quickly I update. Especially today, when I saw all the new reviews I just HAD to update:) **_

_**So keep them coming!**_


	15. Doubts

_**A.N: **__**Bella POV**_

_**Okay so holidays are over, and I'm back to school, and exams are a few weeks away. So if I don't update in a while, there's your reason. But I **__**will **__**try, especially if I get a lot of reviews. Hint hint? Oh and I figured it was about time I named this thing. I couldn't come up with anything good but I was reading one of my chapters and the line "and I faded back to black" came up, and I thought it semi-fit. It'll do for now. **_

**Chapter 15: Doubts **

I parked the truck beside Charlie's cruiser, and then turned to Edward, who was squeezing my hand and giving me a reassuring grin

"Let's go" he said

But I didn't move.

"Bella?" his voice had a slightly worried edge to it, I frowned

"Edward…" my voice was strained "maybe you should wait up in my room"

To my surprise, he laughed

"Bella, why are you so frightened?"

"I'm not frightened" I defended "I just know that Charlie's reaction is not going to be good" I said

"So?" he said "I can handle it" he laughed

"I know _you'll _be able to handle it" I said "I just think I should warn Charlie beforehand, before he sees you. You know?" he stroked my cheek with the back of his cool hand and nodded

"Alright, if you think so" he said as he smiled "I'll be in your room, waiting" and with that, he was gone, and a shard of panic surged through my chest. This was the first time he'd left my side since our reunion.

I calmed myself and got out of the truck, and walked to through the front door.

Charlie; who was in his usual position in from of the television, turned around to greet me

"Hey Bells" he said with a smile "How was Angela's?"

"It was fine, I'll just go and put my things in my room" I held up my bag and started up the stairs "I'll be right down"

"Sure" he said turning back to the television

I hurried up the stairs and to my room, and when I opened the door, the anxiety quickly fluttered away.

Edward, was lying on my bed with his arms behind his head, grinning

"That was quick" he teased in a quiet voice and I laughed

"I just came up to check you were here" I said smiling "and to put my bag away" I put my bag down, and walked towards Edward

"You needn't have checked Bella" he said standing up and off my bed to pull me into his arms "I'm not going anywhere" he whispered into my ear "I promise"

I nodded and looked up, he took my by surprise by kissing me softly before releasing me

"Now go and deal with Charlie" he laughed and spun me in the direction of the door.

Charlie got up and followed me into the kitchen when I came down

"Jacob's called a few times" he said, the name instantly caught my attention "he seemed very anxious to talk to you"

"Really?" I said "What did he say?" I took some pasta out of the cupboard and some leftover mince from the fridge "spaghetti okay?" I asked

He nodded "He said that it was important that you call him as soon as you get home, maybe you should call him now" he said

I put a pot of water on the stove to boil and turned to Charlie

"Hmm… I'm sure it can wait" I said, though I was very anxious to speak to Jacob, I needed to get a few things over with Charlie first "Um, Dad?" I said

"What is it Bells?" his voice had a slight edge to it and he was watching me carefully

"I've got some news" I said

"Oh?" he said, curious "good or bad?"

"Good, I think. Very good" I smiled, great more like it. My smile must have relaxed him because he answered a lot calmer

"Well come on" he said "spit it out" he smiled

"The Cullen's are back" I said quickly. The smile disappeared and I saw a flash of fury in his eyes

"Oh." He said through his teeth "Back…"

"In Forks" I said

"Are all…" he cleared his throat "Are all of them back?" we both knew there was only one person he was asking about

"Yes Dad" I said looking him straight in the eyes "_all _of them are back"

I turned and put the mince into the microwave and stirred the pasta in the pot, Charlie waited until I turned back around, to speak

"Have you seen them?" he asked, I could tell he was fighting hard to keep his voice calm

"Yes" I said "Angela and I saw them in town" I hated lieing to him, but I couldn't very well tell him the truth; that Alice had a vision of me in the woods with a malicious vampire and Edward and her found me running away from that vampire and a massive werewolf Jacob in the woods and I didn't actually sleep at angelas last night, instead, I slept in Edwards arms in his family's mansion.

That would certainly cause some problems.

"And what did _he _have to say for himself" Charlie said, clearly angry

"I'm assuming that by _him_ you mean Edward" he scowled at the name

"What did _Edward _have to say for himself" he said, with a pinch of sarcasm in his tone, it was getting on my nerves

"Dad, you can't blame him for Dr Cullen getting a job in California" I said defensively

"Maybe not" he said, his teeth clenched "But I _can _and _do _blame him for leaving without warning, for leaving you in the woods, for not even phoning _once._ For leaving you the way you were. And for coming back now and thinking everything can go back to normal" he said, fuming

"Dad, it's not like that! He didn't mean to leave me like that; he didn't know I would take it that bad-"

"Anyone could tell you were in love with him Bella, how did he _think _you would take it?" he cut me off "He better not think he's going to be coming into my house and-"

"WHAT?!" I shouted "What do you mean he's not going to come here? This is _my _house too"

"If he hurt you again Bella I…"

"He wouldn't!" I argued

"No, He won't" Charlie said "I won't let him"

"You can't stop me from being with him!" I glared at him and he glared back

"I'm your father, and when you're living under my roof, you go by my rules" he said sternly

"Oh" I said "is that how it is then? Maybe I should find myself a new roof, I'm sure the Cullen's wouldn't mind me living with them" I threatened and I knew it had hit home because Charlie's face suddenly dropped

"Bella…" he said softly

"Dad, don't you want me to be happy?" I said

"Of course, that is the exact reason why I cant let you be with him" he said "Look at what he did to you"

"Dad, this isn't a matter of you _letting _me be with him" I said "I _will _be with him, regardless" he glowered for a moment, but then his face softened a little

"Don't expect me to be nice to him" he said grudgingly and I smiled

"Thank you Dad" I said, grabbing out 2 bowls and served the spaghetti

"And I want there to be boundaries Bella" he said carefully "don't forget your other friends"

"I wont" I said softly, I thought about my so called friends, since Edward left I hadn't spoken to anyone from school… the only person I'd really talked to since, was Jacob.

We ate our dinner in silence, and after I'd finished washing up I quickly told Charlie goodnight.

"It's still early" he said

"It's been a long day" I said and he nodded blankly.

I skipped having a shower and went straight to my room, where Edward was still lieing on my bed where I had left him. I closed my door and went and laid beside him, my head on his chest

"I'm sorry I took so long" I whispered "you must have been bored out of your wits"

He rested his cheek in my hair

"Don't be silly" he said softly "your conversation was very interesting" his voice was a little sad, _of course _he was listening!

"I'm sorry you heard that" I said "He's only like that because he doesn't know the full story"

"Imagine if he did" he said softly, I turned and looked up at his glum face

"Don't be sad" I lightly touched his lips, trying to get them to turn upwards into a smile. It worked because he started to laugh

"Ahh…Bella" he said, hugging me tighter to him

We laid in silence for a few moments, and my eyes lightly skimmed over the uneven floorboard, reminding me of my hidden gifts

"Edward" I said "can I ask you something?"

"Anything" he said and I sat up and turned so I was facing him

"Why did you hide my gifts under my floorboards?" his face was utter surprise, and it amused me a little to have caught him off guard

"You…found them?" he said, stunned, his eyes roaming and fixing on the floorboard

I laughed "Yes, I found them"

"I'm sorry" he said softly, his golden eyes scorching, he looked almost ashamed

"For what?" I said, a little taken a back

"I promised you no reminders" he said sadly "but I couldn't help myself, I _had _to leave a part of myself here, somehow, I didn't expect you to find them though"

"Edward, please don't be sorry… those things kept me sane most of the time" I said softly "And as for reminders, _everything _reminded me of you"

"I'm so sorry" he said again

"Edward" I said "Stop it"

"But you have to know Bella; you have to know how sorry I am for doing that to you, for leaving you broken" he said, and the sadness in his voice broke my heart. I pulled his face up, to look at me

"You're _here now_ Edward" I said, gazing into his eyes "That is _all _that matters to me now"

"Do you forgive me?" Edward said softly

"There is _nothing _to forgive Edward" I said "I love you"

"I love you too" he said "more than anything or anyone" my heart fluttered like it always did when he told me he loved me and he smiled at the sound of it

"I felt horrible when we were apart too" he admitted

"What did you do?" I asked

"Nothing really" he said "I traveled around mostly, and just hunted"

"That's all?" I said "What about the rest of the family?"

"The rest of them were in Denali, with Tanya's family" he said

"Why didn't you go with them?" It didn't make much sense that Edward went off without his family, just to hunt

"I couldn't" he said quietly "I couldn't do anything, it was agony without you Bella"

I wound my fingers through his and squeezed his hand

"I know the feeling" I said softly

we laid in silence for a long time, and it was beautiful, just to be with him again, I felt whole again, it comforted me to know that he had missed me as much as I had missed him, I knew then, that he would not leave me again.

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_**AN: okay so I'm going to leave it at that for today, I'm not very happy with it but it will do for now I guess. Anyway I promise next update Bella will talk to Jacob. :) **_

_**Please review. It makes updating worthwhile, trust me. **_


	16. READ

_**AN: **__**Sorry, this is not an update. **_

_**I'm just writing to say that I'm going to put this story on hold for a little while. **_

_**I've started another story that's happening post-eclipse; I'm going to see how that goes for a little bit before continuing on with this one. **_

_**The reason being; I'm a little stuck with this story, It's getting difficult trying to write the same outcome of New Moon, in a different way. **_

_**And also, I'm eager to write my own version of a breaking-dawn-type thing. **_

_**And eager to see how people respond to it. **_

_**So I just want to apologize to everyone whose been reading this, I hope this isn't a really big let down. Please read my new story and tell me what you think.**_

_**And I promise I **__**will **__**continue and finish this story up eventually.**_

_**And if my other story doesn't work out or get many reviews I'll definitely come back to this one. **_

_**Thanks :)**_


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